I’m so bored. I took two “5-hour Energy” drinks today, but still I have no energy. Of course I took them 5 hours apart, and the last one I took was about 7 hours ago. I got about half the amount of stuff done today that I wanted to. That’s half more than I did yesterday. Yes Saturday, I walked for 8 miles…but that’s about it. No today, I cleaned. But not that well. Sure the places I cleaned look great. But I only got 1 of our two bathrooms, I cleaned the kitchen except for the floor, and the 30-or-so books I was going to sell today still sit in my living room. No, I failed.
I look out my apartment window, and I see the cars I wish I had. I see people going out, and I wish I had any motivation to go outside right now. It’s dark, and anything that’s out there is going to cost me money. Plus, it seems too late to really do anything. It’s Sunday. There’s nothing open on Sunday nights.
And now I realize I forgot to go to church. Perhaps if I had, I would have more energy for other things today. Instead, here I sit listening to some mix-tape website thing where Sonic Youth is doing a cover of the Carpenter’s “Superstar”. Which is actually a really good rendition. Better than the original if you don’t like the Carpenters. Personally, I wish I could hate the Carpenters. But I don’t. I actually admire Karen for her awesome drumming ability. If you don’t know how cool a drummer she was, check her out on YouTube sometime. I just wish she would have had as voracious an appetite for food as she did for musicianship.
Now I’m wondering what kind of artist she (and her brother) would be if she had lived. Kind of like Barry Gibb…wait, no, I mean Andy Gibb, I don’t think she would have survived in the 1980’s very well. John Denver lived, and he kind of faded from view when the 80’s came into play. The “forget Vietnam and being a hippie, let’s just chill baby!” sensation of the early 70’s kind of faded when Disco came into being, and then was crushed altogether when the “Hoo-rah Reagan! Nuke the Commies!” 80’s ship sailed into port.
I miss the 80’s. Not nearly as much as I miss the 90’s, but I still miss the 80’s. I often wonder if I’d feel the same way about either decade if I were living in my 30s in those decades, as I live in the “ought-ies”…or “00’s”…or what ever. I don’t like calling it the “2000’s”, because, much like Charles Osgood from CBS Sunday Morning, I really am against calling these years by their way-too-long titles. However, in really looking at it, “Twenty-Oh-Eight” has the same number of syllables. I guess by calling it “Twenty-Oh-Eight”, it attaches us back to the “90’s”, and makes those years feel more real.
In that respect, it feels like we’re on the other side of that sci-fi feeling I used to have back in the 90’s, when I thought about the years of 2000 and beyond. Now, it feels like the 1990’s are some kind of sci-fi era. I mean, I know what went on back then. But thinking about how my life was different in my early-to-mid 20’s is a bit like sci-fi now. I really hadn’t a clue back then. I was so closed off emotionally from everything and everyone.
I guess I’m not much better now, except that I’m married, and that forces me to open up a lot more. It also means that there’s a lot more physical contact going on now, and that was certainly something that seemed like sci-fi in my 20’s. Man, I was so shy back then. Still am, I suppose. I can just fake it a lot better now than I could then.
I wish I could go back, but I wonder if I’d do it any better if I were to repeat it. I’d probably break the rules a lot more, take a lot more chances, and I’d probably spend some time in jail because of it. I’d probably have dated a lot more, but then I might not be with my wife if I went back and started monkeying with things. I know enough about my wife, and I act a certain way around her now…and that might wouldn’t be very attractive to her. I think part of the initial attraction was the fact that we really didn’t know each other that well, and that I was so shy. I don’t know if I could “get” her if I were super-confident.
I wish I could go back and live with my long hair though. My long, sometimes greasy, but wonderful hair. I’m losing my hair now. It’s not gone yet, but it will be sometime soon. Then I’ll have to shave it, I suppose. Because the Bozo cut doesn’t look good on Ron Howard, and it won’t look good on me. There’s always the buzz-cut bald, which many men wear. Patrick Stewart for one. I don’t know what I can pull off. I have a head kind of like Bald Bull from the original “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out” game for the NES. Kind of fat…not as pointy.
I guess I’m trying to say that I like hair. I don’t like being without hair. I don’t want hair to go away. I don’t care if it’s some evolutionary trait (or some trait of intelligent design, if you prefer). I like hair. I’m pretty used to it, and I don’t want it to leave.
Rogaine slows down the loss…but it’s not stopping it. There’s other treatments…and maybe it’s time to look into them. I wish I simply didn’t need to choose one. I wish that the hair would simply stay put.
I wish I had a more uplifting post here. I’m only really writing because I’m so bored, and a little sad. It was a rough week for me, and it’s probably going to be another rough week this coming week. I have a good job, but it’s not being really good to me this week. It’s an uphill battle, but I’m ready to fight. It’s tiresome however. I wish I didn’t have to fight so hard.
I wish someone was on to chat with I guess. Talking to myself is almost as tiresome as thinking about this next week. I think I need to post this, and hit that stumble button for 30 minutes or so.
Don’t forget to celebrate your Large Hadron Collider Activation Day with someone you love. Before it destroys the world.
-A
Bugloaf 
