Monthly Archives: October 2007
Spring Cleaning came early this year…
I know I’m going to catch some flack for this one…
I decided the other day to finally start making some cosmetic updates on this blog. Among other things, I decided to update my links list over on the right, retitling it from “Places You Should Go, in order from newest to oldest”, to the much shorter and pithier, “Things To Click On”. I then threw in the smattering of links I tend to check out on a daily basis. (Ones like Dr. Strangelove and Kanteker’s Blog I already check out on a daily basis, to they sat tight.)
In the midst of the links, I had a decision to make. There’s a site called Dogs In Danger. It’s basis is to allow for the adoption of dogs from various shelters around the nation. However, the highlight of this site is to show you a dog that’s about to die.
Yes, that’s right. You have a dog on death row. It seems macabre, but it certainly puts things in perspective. For one, unless you’re a specific breeder, you really oughta be spaying or neutering your pets. Seriously, unless you want the offspring to die in a horrible fashion. It’s the responsible thing to do, and the pet is put through relatively little strife for it.
However, on the other side of the coin…there’s some sort of sick fascination with seeing the pets that are on the short list. Undoubtedly, these pets in the spotlight will nearly all be adopted. For one thing, you have “The Story”. Here’s what I mean:
“Hey, that’s a pretty dog!”
“Yes, I know! I rescued her after I saw his picture on that website! She only had 2 days left!!”
So, in the end, are you really adopting this dog because you truly wanted to adopt? Or simply because the dog is famous?
In the end, I suppose it doesn’t matter. It makes me wonder if death row inmates would have any luck by having their pictures posted on a similar site. “This serial rapist and murderer only has 2 days left! Please Governor! Commute to a life sentence!”
I doubt it, but if they had such a site, I’d probably check that one daily too.
The Smurfs. You remember them. They’re lovable and happy through the use of wonderful Hanna Barbera animation. A sort of Marxist utopia of sorts. But in a good way. Heck, when I was a kid, I envied them. They were always happy, when they weren’t about to be eaten by Gargamel, that is.
In reality, would it be that great to be a Smurf? Let’s take a look back and see…
We’ll start with Papa Smurf. King Daddy. It’s easy enough to like him, with his Santa Claus beard and costume. He’s just a kindly older man. And he’s the one stand-out in the bunch, pretty easy to spot. However, since they’re at a virtual war with Gargamel at all times, maybe he should follow the same rules applied to officers during the Vietnam War, and try to blend in a little bit. You know, nothing shiny or flashy, nothing that truly stands out, like a bright red target in a field of white.
I know, Gargamel can’t find the village, blah blah blah. He’s found it before you know. You can’t just rely on the fact that he hopefully won’t find it again.
This one is called Normal Smurf. Normal. How horrible, at least for me. But he’s the yardstick of this entire civilization. Whatever he does, it’s normal. He’s the true ideal, blue, perfectly coiffed and ironed uniform, big silly grin on his face. This is what it means to be a normal Smurf.
Ah yes, Brainy Smurf. Why did they have to make the biggest jerk of the hole bunch be the only one to wear glasses? Sure, hate those without perfect vision. You’re the jerks. Jerk.
But I guess it isn’t as bad as hating black Smurfs.
This one is called “Angry Smurf”. What, exactly, are you trying to say, Peyo? Seriously! What is this, a Black Sambo painting?
And Spy Smurf…he might be super secret, but generally a spy should “blend” a little more. Maybe you should dress like Normal Smurf. Oh, and who exactly is Spy Smurf spying on? Is there some other Smurf culture somewhere, and he’s trying to infiltrate this one, maybe introduce a more Democratic culture to this Marxist Regime? Or is he simply trying to spy on Gargamel? If so…maybe a little camouflage is in order. Not standard fatigues, mind you, but something a little more gray, to match that weird hovel he lives in. And you should probably have something to mask your scent from that cat too. But I digress…
Prisoner Smurf. So, what are you in for? Being too happy? No, you’re not smiling. Maybe it’s for not being happy enough? Really, what crime would you really have to commit in the Smurf Village to be thrown in jail? Did you paint your mushroom from a color off from the required palate? Did you eat meat? Did you piss on the Smurfberry bush? I’d love to know. Maybe he was turned by Spy Smurf and was later caught. I’m surprised that this picture of him (and his friend, apparently) got to the public. Apparently not everyone believes in this form of government…
Astro Smurf. So, the Smurfs have a space program. If so, maybe they have a really tiny nuclear stockpile somewhere too. Enough nukes to blow up a city block, perhaps?
Looking at the space suit, it doesn’t look that well thought out. There’s no air supply except for the fishbowl, and there’s no gloves. I wonder how long a Smurf would last in space. And even within the confines of the spacecraft, there’s that age old question…if a Smurf is choking, what color will he turn?
Oh yeah, Gold Smurf. The blingiest of them all. I bet he has a full grill too. Maybe he’s the one who sold pictures of Prisoner Smurf to the west, and maybe some of those Smurf secrets…like where the MICBM (Mini-Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile) manufacturing facilities are located. Or maybe he’s part of the Smurf mob, dealing in illegal prostitution and Smurf-aine running from Smurf-ombia. Or maybe I’m reaching. Moving on…
Laughing Smurf…I wonder if that’s all he does? Maybe they should have Psychiatrist Smurf.
Crying Smurf….same comment.
Sleepwalker Smurf…don’t ever wake up, man. Just keep on sleeping.
Thinking Smurf. So, in this village without individual thought, one stands above and thinks for everyone else?
Gift Smurf…hmm, let’s look at this. Yellow gift, red bow…it looks like an improvised explosive to me. Run!
Pointing Smurf. Probably great on hunting trips. Or at the Information Desk of Adventureland.
Emperor Smurf…so, is this the other society that Spy Smurf is looking in on? Maybe that’s why he’s dressed like that. Maybe everyone in that society wears huge red cape. They look rich too, which is how they were able to afford to pay off Gold Smurf.
Jungle Smurf? Oh come on Peyo! A little cultural awareness, man!
This one is Chef Smurf. I only included him because I like his expression. Looks like Constipated Baker Smurf.
Pirate Smurf…so Smurf Village has a pirate trade? Maybe it’s against that Monarchy across the way.
And Smurfette. That one girl. You were made up by Gargamel, if memory serves. So, Smurfs don’t naturally reproduce…or do they? Maybe the Smurfs are asexual… or maybe they are hermaphrodites. Or maybe some disease killed off all of the natural born females, or modified the Smurf embryos to become male instead of female. What happened to all the women? Do they exist in either the Marxist Regime or the Monarchist Kingdom? Maybe that’s the reason for all the spying, to find out how much they know about the one key to having another generation of Smurfs.
Well, that’s about it for now. By the way, I stole all of these pictures from here: http://www.blueimps.com/normalsmurfs1to50.html
Thanks for playing! -A
*sigh* I wish I had this game now. This song is supposedly the hardest one in the game. At least I hope so. Look at how fast he gets 50 and 100 note streaks, when he’s “on”. Amazing. This is probably the first 5-Star of this song on record.
This reporter should have thrown in the towel after her second attempt, instead of getting squashed on national television.
I don’t hate them. I just really really don’t like them. They are a college football team. Repeat: They are a COLLEGE football team. And sure, organized sports are a fun past time. But they shouldn’t take up the collective consciousness of an entire midwestern city. Especially when it’s not even the city’s team.
The Nebraska Cornhuskers. My stomach clenches a little bit just typing that out. While I’d like to believe the city of Omaha would be better off without that team…from Lincoln…I have to admit that it wouldn’t be. This cattle town
I almost immediately grew bored of the previous story to the point that all I’ve done for weeks is post links to various movies and stuff. So, I will move on.
It’s football season. I realize that I kind of covered that in the previous tidbit, but it’s true. And as a recent ex-Vikings fanatic (the whole love-boat thing on Lake Minnetonka kind of killed my taste for the team for a couple years), I once thought Viking would be a good name for a kid.
Seriously. And it’s still in the running. But I have to explain.
See, my wife Sarah has a very strong German background, and among some of the names in her family, one name comes up…Helmut. (Usually prounounced HELL-moot, but quicker.) Now, you see where I’m going? Awesome middle name! “Viking Helmut! Clean up your room! And no football in the house!”
Sha, like that’s going to happen.
Of course, the ironic thing would be if our kid was a total bookworm like I was. I can’t imagine being the introvert that “I” was and going through school with such a kick-ass name.
Yeah…maybe we should rethink it. Or maybe just the “nickname” of Viking.
Or maybe we should name the dog Viking. Which makes me ponder if, many years from now, the kid will simply “adopt” the name Viking, and we’ll repeat that scene from Indiana Jones 3, where, in Sean Connery’s Scotish brogue I say, “We named the “dog” Viking!”
I’ll be waiting YEARS for this lame-ass joke to come to fruition. I can’t wait to have kids.
Especially if it’s a girl.
Ah, just roll the clip.
This works both ways, you know.
Time to make a Bookmark Dump on this site, once again.
ManyBooks.net, free books for your PDA, iPod, or eReader
Nowhere Girl, an interesting web comic
Roundhay Garden Scene, if you don’t know, is the oldest surviving motion picture in the world, shot on October 14, 1888. It is all of 2.11 seconds in length. Once you’ve seen it, it’s sort of embedded on your brain, because it’s a little weird. All 2.11 seconds of it.
This has already made the rounds on the internet, but it’s simply too cute.
Relevancy has a way of coming back now and again.
Yeah, you could say I really like Drowning Pool.
It’s a joke, all.
I can’t seem to get the ebaumsworld link to work, so here it is, straight from Google’s YouTube.
A British TV commercial using James Doohan & William Shatner…and some Star Trek: The Next Generation sets for zero accuracy there, but who am I to pick nits?
Aw, just watch it. It’s worth it.
A 1974 CBS News story of a French tightrope walker who snuck up to the top of one of the towers, rigged a crossbow-line with a buddy hiding on top of the other tower, and managed to walk across the two towers. And they say Frenchmen have no balls.
Somewhat convincingly, in his style of course.
I realize I don’t get much traffic on this site, especially since I don’t update it daily. However, I figured I’d put the question out there:
Does anyone have any idea how to remove a hard-return through a “Find-Replace” function in any text program?
This has bothered me for YEARS. I like to go to various news sites, wiki’s, or blogs, then grab all of the information and paste it into a text document. The part that bothers me is all of that open space. There’s usually a whole set of hard-returns after the brunt of the text in an article.
I’d like to get around that, by doing a find on a hard return (like or something similar), then replace it with 3-or-so spaces instead.
This is picking nits, but it’s an honest annoyance of mine that I’ve been dealing with for years. I realize I could always go into the code of a webpage and remove the spaces that way…but that defeats the purpose of making this an easy fix.
Hey, I’m sorry to those fans that I know. Heck, I enjoy watching NASCAR. But this is funny. I stole it from here: NASCAR Fans
I didn’t understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. You talk to a couple of NASCAR fans and you’ll see where a shiny car driving in a circle would fascinate them all day. I can make fun of NASCAR fans because if they chase me, I’ll just turn right. — Alonzo Bodden
Promo for the 1985/1986 season. I actually remember this one, and I remember looking forward to these montages every year when I was a kid.